Unrequited Love? PART 1

*Disclaimer, I will use “they/their” to refer to the person you admire or like, so I don’t repeat “she/he, his/her” every time*

Hello readers,

This is a different post. It is not book related… well… it is not mainly about books, but I want to discuss this with you guys because maybe you can all relate to it.

What is unrequited love?

To be honest, I’ve never really known the meaning of it until we were discussing Othello by Shakespeare in one of my classes this past semester. Unrequited Love is the same as one-sided love. For instance, you can like someone, but that person doesn’t share the same feelings. As I tried to process the word unrequited, I looked at my friend, and we both started to laugh because it was so accurate to what we were going through at that time.

Have you ever felt an instant connection with someone just by making eye contact? You don’t even know who the hell that person is, what their name is, how old they are or are they even single? But for that one second you looked at each other, you felt something and you tried to ignore it.

As days passed, and you keep noticing them looking at you, you start to think about all the different meanings. They kept looking to the point that it becomes creepy but it’s not… It’s not creepy because you like it and you have no idea why.

You start to have these different ideas. You think they like you; they have a crush on you. You start to see all their actions as signs that they are probably trying to make a move on you. Everything starts to remind you of them. For instance, songs that you’ve been listening to will start to remind you of them.

Then they start talking to you for the first time, and you start to have butterflies in your stomach; it makes your day and you think they definitely like you.

Then you go home and replay the scene over and over in your head, and you start to realize how stupid you’re thinking; that maybe you’re just imagining things; that they don’t like you; and you tell yourself that you need to get over it.

But then you see them again, and you just can’t.

It goes on for days, weeks, months and maybe years? You pretend you don’t care, that you’re not affected because you refuse to make the first move; because what if you’re wrong? You’d just embarrass yourself and you don’t want that. You wait for them to make more moves; to make it obvious to you that they like you, but you get none.

Then you think they probably are not interested, but a small part of you thinks that it’s because they’re shy.

You start to hate everything, hate them for not making a move when you think they like you too.

But then you realize, what if you’ve been imagining this whole thing? What if all this time, you’ve been idealizing them? Just like how Emilia idealizes Iago. What if the reason they were looking at you was because you looked familiar, or something else? What if their actions are just part of who they are?

It’s hard to admit,  but maybe that’s just it?

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